who's ta say, ay?

the candle wax breaks off like the cake in the fridge she wants to eat, but can't. or doesn't want to. is she really helping the animals or is it just another man-made marketing scheme to make the man think he is doing good?

she notices the thin line of light through the crack of her bedroom door. is the glass half empty of half full? does she say 'half empty' first because her glass is tainted, or because it sounds better that way around?

she opens her bag to take out the banana that nobody wanted. it smells of disease. the one she's been carrying around for over two months now. does an apple a day keep the therapist away? because the banana is still mouldy, just like her brain.

the wind is trapped between the window and the mosquito net. the brick wall on the other side is stood, unmoving. why think of the brick wall as an obstacle in which you have to climb over or break through? who's to say it isn't freedom itself?

fucking insane.

is everyone home?
shall i lock the door?

quiet.

she opened the living room door to silence.

trouble.

the look she'd never seen before in his eyes was making its first appearance.
he grabbed her and placed her in front of the living room mirror.
look at yourself!
look at what you've become.

he snatched all of the little freedom she had with the grit in his teeth
you're fucking crazy.
stop acting crazy.


all she could do was smile fanatically.
fucking insane.

passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life wasted passion wasted youth wasted time wasted life

                                                                say it for long enough and it won't make a difference

no, she will not take it anymore (hopefully)

no, she does not have rickets. she was just pretending to play the bass.
(passer by-ers, say wassup)

no, she is not doing nothing. she was just thinking about how to not make a mistake.
(managers, shut the fuck up)

no, she is not ignoring you. she just really dislikes stupidity.
(parents, do they ever stop?)

no, she is not stupid. she just doesn't want to cause a scene.

(everyone, pour some more liquor in my cup)

her eyes are droopy and her heart is sad.
her neck has sunk into her back.
they are one. not like herself.
she feels like she is dying on the inside and out.
what can she do? she would leave her uncomfort for a hug.
but who would give it? she is not to them as they are to her.
expectations.

ay, i've become a sop.

and so quickly jhene aiko meant nothing to her.
so quickly frank ocean wasn't making her cry so much.
so quickly she realised she wasn't so sad anymore.
and so quickly she was falling in love.

did she know what she would become?

the glint in her eyes. hopefulness.

happy to be living. happy to be young. happy to be having fun. happy to not be caring about all the shit she will care about when she is older.

the semi-smile on her face. naivety.

unknowingness of the true world. unable to see true hurt. unaware of what is to come.



well it's all gone to shit now.
life.